He is the head of the family.
He is the man, the alpha male.
He is seated at the top of the table,
Opposite him, nobody.
When he screams, everybody is silent.
He knows how to use his voice
To terrorise. It feels like his soul
Is leaving his body in tremors and drumrolls.
His voice imposes his entire body, its crafty violence.
This man has several faces, several truths.
To stand up to him means breaking your own silence,
Backing up your own truth.
He is a despot and a man of integrity.
He is made of contradictions.
He is a well-constructed house, the outer and inner
Are incompatible, the drunk and the sober.
The worker and the adulterer,
The father and the family man,
The husband and the provider.
He is a wound that never heals.
He has every right to touch his family,
To use his hands and fists and hollering voice,
But no other man may do the same things he does,
That’s when his morals kick in, that’s a territorial war.
You look upon him in confusion,
You need to learn how to survive, you need
To understand how he functions in order to make it
Out of his terror house alive.
Love is so twisted, the hands that caress are the hands on my throat.
The eyes enamoured are the same ones that radiate the urge to annihilate.
Where do I stand? I can never know.
I know that every move, every position, I take, determines whether
I live or die. This man’s moods and depressions and hovering guillotines.
He follows me around, in my mind, in my steps, my unshackled hands.
My body doesn’t know yet that it is safe, it always takes me back into a frozen state.
My head knows, his reign is a dead thing, conquered not quite, but I’m alive and running.

“Study for Lady Lilith” by Dante Gabriel Rossetti (1828-1882)
Like this:
Like Loading...
Related
Published by Croque-Melpomene
My name is Laura Gentile. I’m of German-Italian descent and I speak five languages such as English, German, French, Italian, Luxembourgish and I’m currently learning Romanian.
I hold a Master of Arts Degree in English Literature, Film and Visual Culture (Dissertation: The Decadent in Love with his Psychopomp: Thomas Mann's 'Death in Venice' and Adrian Lyne's 'Lolita') and a Master of Letters by Research in English Literature, Film and Visual Culture (Thesis: Romanticising Decadence and Aestheticising Death: Women as Projection Bodies and Mimetic Identities in Zola’s 'Thérèse Raquin', Schnitzler’s 'Dream Story', Süskind’s 'Perfume: The Story of a Murderer' and Eugenides’ 'The Virgin Suicides').
My poetry and short stories have been published in two anthologies entitled 'Shaking Thoughts' and 'Until Forever Becomes The End', both edited by Joan Barbara Simon PhD PhD, leading to a prose and poetry recital called 'Silence Breakers' at the Libreria Altrimenti in Luxembourg.
My article on 'Biblical Imagery and Apocalyptic Visions in Films' written for the university course 'Film And Popular Culture' was published in a Luxembourgish film magazine named 'Graffiti'.
My work was chosen as obligatory reading for the academic course 'Creative Writing' at the University of Luxembourg and was the focus of the students’ exam portfolio. I was invited by the University of Luxembourg to do a workshop on my short story 'Prophets of the Streetlight' for the 'Creative Writing' course, including a reading and a Q&A.
In 2013, I published my own collection of short stories and poetry entitled 'Seraphic Addiction', which led to an invitation by Ara City Radio to do an interview and a reading on air.
Consequently I was encouraged to create my own radio show called 'Chasse-Sirène' surrounding literature, films, music and art.
Furthermore, I am the official German translator of Joan Barbara Simon’s 'Verses Nature' trilogy.
My debut novel, 'Within Paravent Walls', will be published by WiDo Publishing / E. L. Marker.
I am the creator of "Croque-Melpomene: Femalecentric Poetry" and I have a YouTube channel carrying the same name.
I am a weekly blogger for RTL Today, a major European media platform.
View all posts by Croque-Melpomene