In her I found my long lost strengths again.
I knew that I felt safe with her, outside my own four walls.
I felt like nothing bad could happen to me whilst I had her on my side.
I caught more than glimpses of the pieces stuck inside of her,
Her devastated nature, full of vulnerability and wounds.
I thought we’re really not that different, and yet.
We put ourselves into a tight knot because we were so alone and needed to be resilient.
To reduce someone to almost nothing, you isolate her, create a distance between her and
Best friend, you’d want her to stand and crumble completely alone, solitary, ready for
Your collateral damage. We’d found each other for the time being.
Our demons wouldn’t collaborate in the long run.
We had each other’s backs, seen one another collapse and cry and fall apart,
But after the deepest abysses we managed to laugh our way out of them all,
It had indeed been us against them all, the attackers, the cliffs, the bullies.
Every knot loosens if you come undone from within.
You can always count on the sabotage from without, of course,
People always carry scissors with them,
They desire abandoned threads.
Some people just wander through the streets looking for the severed pieces,
Or for opportunities to give someone the last decisive push, over the edge.
Watch out, they are everywhere, careful, now.
I had loved her qualities that I could aspire towards,
And when she cried in my arms I felt that we had both been scarred.
We were an ideal equation had change not crept its way in.
Cracks can be a vital sign, and we took our own exits.
For our very own reasons, better in retrospective, clearer.
We became who we always were and had lost and the knot became a straight line.
“Head of a Girl” by Pierre-Joseph Dedreux-Dorcy (1789-1874)