you have stopped your dying
I wait for your new absence
to remind me of who you might have been
I can’t remember because my body is in so much pain
did you give up because his love for you was never shown
I don’t know what unlived language devastated itself in you
lives on within me and stopped communicating
your life went by unseen and unfelt
no audience could make up for his absence
and disengagement, his death
the brutal force that brought you into this world
moulding you into demolition
mother spectator, mother encourager
your body taught me what was real about you
how you used it to extinguish all lights
how you repeated him when all you wanted
was to break free
Croque-Melpomene 