I’m always trying to feel the child
that you killed
for your pleasure
I’m always trying
not to grow up the way
you wanted me to
I imagine your crooked crouching silhouette
and take my body against the current
I sense your words
whispered
behind my head
when I stop in front of a mirror
I’m trying not to see you
in the hair that you put on me
the skin that you poked
the skin that you’ve crawled under
the skin that you poisoned
I just want to be held
I was a child that needed you
and that aroused you
raising me in full heat
pushing me into all the directions
I would never have chosen for myself
and I’m so tense I can’t set myself free
Croque-Melpomene 