n o r m a l i s e d | a poem

your rigid breath mummifies my spine

find me a good girl, my girl

just like you but different

you were brought to me

I taught you well

embodying me

what I need

he whispers

it’s never enough

he always comes back

I’m more

there’s more where that came from

lust is an empty coffin

his eyes are hiding in plain sight

can’t you see

his lips

his tongue

insane in his mouth

I am exposed

my legs

I am waking up

petals fall

crushed

shoved aside

there she is

my girl

look at you

little hands

stop thinking

eyes, look at me, it’s all right

there is no transgression, I create the lines

put your hands on your skin

oh, she is pretty too

to be loved

I need to work harder

to be loved

lovable

I see everything suppressed

everything torn inside

on his face, on your face

everything that I bring to the surface you say

the bad

we’re alike you stutter

the man and the child

dead inside

I’ve been barely alive

taking me

out of myself

and his eyes light up when he sees her

different

better

easier

there she is

untouched

holybody

fantasy

pirouetting

envy in my mouth

scarlet beneath my skin

poison oak

she doesn’t need to do anything

the good comes out in you

care

on your face

I am dirty

I am your shame

she deserves better

the better you

I am invisible carrying your scars

I worked so hard

to please

I thought I had to

I believed I should

I thought I was guaranteed

a place, the place in your heart

exchangeable

you didn’t need to say it

I’m dripping wet in the cold winter sun

and you salivate and glorify her

she’s only to be looked at

what a beautiful girl

serene

and you come back to me

filled with a one-sided lust, thorns

you’ll take it out on me

that she’s unattainable

protected, loved, cherished

you take it out on me

what is inside of you

wrath, prohibited, spoiled

you’re so good to me

open up

unclench your fist

you know that I love you still

you’re my girl

vacant eyes

there he is

the one who hides

and takes

and tricks me into thinking

that his rigid breath on my spine

is love

mummified.

Photo by Asya Cusima on Pexels.com

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