Unreliability | A Poem

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I am not blaming you for the world that I live in

I am blaming you

for the part you played

in mine

when you shrank it

and when you took complete control

without responsibility

when I depended on you

when I was too young

to not cling to you

to escape

to see through you

and understand that I am safe(r) on my own

*

oh

you

spat

fire

and

I

swallowed

it

all

*

every time

that I tried

to get close to you

I looked at your face

and felt

an abyss

between us

*

and you’d let me fall

*

I’d never come closer

*

silence

floating above the abyss

no warnings

no cautionary tale

if you come closer you’ll die

*

but you didn’t keep your hands to yourself

you were an adult

the abyss was a puddle to you

Totes Mädchen” by Egon Schiele (1890-1918)

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