We almost tore each other apart.
We learned it, internalised it, the
Disappearance of the self, the eruption
Of everything animalistic, the screams
Bursting with words that go unheard,
The big storm blasting out of the gut.
We needed to survive. He put so much
Bile into us that we needed to release it.
Onto you, onto me, our skin, torn and burned.
I loathed myself, what my body could do
To another one, a body that I loved, what my hands
Could do, how fast I could run into someone,
How annihilating your eyes could look,
The tissue of your face bursting red and
Distorted, this was never meant to happen,
How could we let him enter our bodies like this?
I cried, I was so ashamed of my own depths, what
Nested there, out to get you, if you angered me,
You were the same, at each other’s throats, reliving
The same nightmares, he’s out to get us, he’s there,
The pain, the insanity, we need to survive, I need to
Protect myself, with my teeth, with every object I
Can find, I look at what we do to each other and it feels
Like a slow-roasting murder of everything good within
Us, the love he gradually robbed us of, because we loved
Each other so much until we fought each other, off, every
Single day, transforming into objects to be desecrated.